bemyheroine
I'm dancing in the room as I would in the woods with you | ||||||||
I'm waking up, and I see the world again.
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Friday, September 5, 2008, 8:34 PM
Rants
I am just gonna rant. so forgive whatever I say whether it makes sense or not. im actually listening to shrek right now. its actually a pretty damn nice song. i like it anyway. oh man oh man. my inspiration has run dry. okay now its getting back up. its wet its wet! =P okay, did not sound right but watever... ------ sometimes you sit infront of the mirror you stare at your reflection and you're wondering. who is that? that girl staring back at you? you touch your cheek and you see the girl doing the same. who is she? this stalker. this imposter. you stare into her eyes. and you can't find a trace you cant find a trace of yourself within them. are you lost? feeling lost. feeling oh so lost. its just so easy so simple. sometimes, its just strange. why do we feel the way we do? why do i walk around the place, feeling as light as wind, yet as though nothign else matters? we continue on with our lives. in our daily routine. going through door to door. you wake up shower brush your teeth. wear your contacts change your clothes. comb your hair eat your breakfast. leave to school go to your subjects. study. come back home. take a break. and study somemore. have a chat with your friends and then go to sleep. wats the point? dont you ever feel as though life has lost its meaning? as though day by day, you feel yourself slowly seeping away. into this boring old world of lifeless eyes and frozen smiles. you turn to the person next to you. and in your shock. you see yourself staring back. into those brown black eyes you look. but, the person. the soul is gone. it has disappeared as you try and try to find it. its just gone. what part do we play? what is our role? we go through our lives. following rules. doing chores. and where do we end up? whatever happened to breaking out and living your life? whatever happened to taking risks and pouring your heart out? whatever happened to the thoughts that each individuals think? whatever happened to INDIVIDUALS?? why have we suddenly turned into mindless robots? Economics class today. ethics or our economy? we had to choose. I look down at my choices. they seem so simple. yet, how come so hard? not just classwork obviously. but our lives in general. there are things we WANT to do. and the things we HAVE to do. but its just so hard to differentiate between the two. just so hard. how come we cant HAVE to do what we WANT to do. do we follow our hearts? or our mind? dance dance dance. im in love with dance. but then. my parents are sure not. they dont understand my passion or my love for it. they scoff i know they do. and it just seriously pisses me off. whats so wrong about dancing? whats so wrong about pursuing something i love? "your brain is more important than anything else" my brain my ass. you're never happy with what I have. No matter how hard I try. you're all so hard to please. my friends are not good enough. my studies are not good enough. my brains are not good enough. my activities are not good enough. another thing. input output my ass once again. do you even know what you are saying? do you even know how annoying you get when you just keep going on and on and on and on and ON about my feriggin weight? AS IF i dont get enough. AS IF i'm happy about that. AS IF I wanna be this thin AS IF. sometimes life can get a little annoying. tumbling turning rushing pushing pulling. why do we fall for the people we fall for? okay, I know its a drastic change of topic but im pouring. and im just pouring. I saw him today. and I wonder. WHAT did i ever see in him? arrogant bastard. i don't know what was up with me then. maybe its just his stormy dark eyes. his damn nice body. but he opens his mouth and that just flies out the window. its strange really, sometimes i see their eyes on me. and I wonder what are they looking at. I stare into the mirror trying to find a hint of that 'uniqueness' that I apparently have. and I dont find it I dont see it because underneath this all I'm just like everybody else. was listening to my world by avril and i realise, its too cheery for my mood right now. anyway. i dont see it at all. im scared. i shiver. i feel pain. i cry often. im weak. i have no stamina. i struggle. im not smart. im not pretty. im too thin. im too tall. i have bad hair. i have strange habits. i rant. i hurt. then again. who cares? who does ever care? you tell yourself. i DONT give a shit about what other people think of me. about what other people see in me. but then. you do no matter how hard you try to tell yourself you always do. you check in the mirror. to see if your mask is cracking. you check in the mirror. to see if your true face is showing. because, you're afraid afraid of what they would say. afraid of what they would think afraid of what they would DO. you lie. you know you do. you lie about yourself. trying to impress. trying to pretend to be different. but you aren't because you're just like every other person out there. the same. you see. this is what i do. if you give me the time and space. i would just go on and on and on and on. i do that. hahaha. and I dont even know why. another change of topic. you. this one is about you. its kind of funny really, the way we do the things we do. but what do we have? what do we have between us? what is this? i find it strange, for i've never been through this before. really, really strange. maybe... maybe one day you could explain it to me. y'know? so I dont have to be so confused anymore. dreams. i dream a dream. i dream a dream of a dream within a dream. HAHA. its kinda funny when you say it that way. =P you know how we should change the world? maybe we should destroy mirrors. imagine THAT happening. half my friends would kill themselves for sure. LOL. sometimes. im just not bothered to care really. i do. i actually do. especially if im meeting THEM. but then again. vanity. its such a strange word aint it? blogging blog blogger. why do we blog? whats actually the point of blogging? its not like it does any help really, maybe other than ranting. ranting helps. it helps a crapload. hahaha. and also, im running outta fuel. not to mention my inspiration has run dry. again. used up all my water. hahahaha maybe, after I shower, it'll come back. i'll see you. xx <3me. |
whenthelightsgoout
Said I hate you. But I lied.who thought she could own the world who knew love could taste... just so damn sweet too bad it kills you in the end. |
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