I was struggling to get in
left me outside your door
waiting on you
given false hope.
I'm done waiting.
maybe it's easier for you
to give up and not care
to pretend like all these years hasn't meant a dime
or maybe not pretend, but truly believe.
sometimes the world works in such mysterious ways
sometimes life runs through its up and downs and
sometimes,
it feels like you've hit rock bottom
and someone comes and digs a deeper hole underneath you
its easier to give up
and ignore the hurt
build up those iron walls
and refute those helping hands
these words I'm writing
I don't really know what they mean
I'm just typing as I think
all I know is that,
I'm sick and tired of this.
what you will never understand
never be able to truly grasp
is that I have never intended for you to hurt
never intended for you to think I was the bad guy
the one wearing the mask
you will never truly see
because you're too blinded by your own world
blocked out by feigned love
and impressive greens
you will never be able to realize
that everything I have done
everything I have said
is only because I care.
because I care too damn much
and not for me
for you
but your idiocy,
your blindness
your stupidity
will never let you see that
will never let you see that I wouldn't care if you shut me out of your life
that I only care because
you're ruining your own.
I sit here thinking that no,
I don't.
I don't need you anymore.
Because I've ceased caring.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!